Sibuk amat… tapi tak usaha nak buat keje..
Maybe I’m just tired. Tired if all these. All these conspiracies, all these hypocriteness, all these ‘wutever’ situations.
Gone again, the motivation. But I still am working….
Recently I find it’s hard for me to fall asleep… yesterday I slept at 3 am.. before that 4 am.. usually 1 am.. sometimes 2 am. I find this so tiring. Why? I don’t know. But I slept at 4 am that day because I watched this sad japanese drama titled “1 litre of tears”. I cried while watching ALL the episodes. The drama is based on a true story. So, if anyone would like to cry a bit (or a litre) of tears, do check this drama out.
Hmm… that drama is one of my escapades… it’s so stressed, living here. 9 months to go! Mai, ganbattene!
I need to do an intensive research on Animal Testing for academic writing. And I am the leader (who is not really a leader…) for my group to hold a promotional campaign of a product. One of my group member who is my assistant thinks that I’m incapable (this I can still stand).. thinks that I’m emotionless, pretends like I’m merely a statue, a wall or worse… I have said that if he has anything to say against me, just say it.. but he ignores… he makes me feel like I’m invisible…I let it go.. I just don’t wanna argue. But it’s so painful. One lecturer who conducts Uniten’s sports day thinks I’m idiot.. I just don’t wanna argue. That’s why I just let it go…. I don’t like arguing… it’ll only get worse. I’ll get involved and everything will get worse! That’s why I just let it go… but of course I’m hurt.
I’m a hypocrite.. I cannot stand all my friends who start to date…having boyfriend.. I cannot stand it… but I didn’t say anything… I pretend like I don’t mind.. I don’t feel good at all…
Underneath I’m like this… people around me surely have no idea how I really feel.. because I act so happily like a kid as usual… I’m happy 
superficially…. I’m crazy.. they say… yeah, I’m crazy
Actually, I’m waiting… still waiting since june last year… but it never comes…
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Yeah, I’m having a particularly ‘whateverrrrr’ time, too. Though it’s probably because I’m a little sick and sakit tekak. Dx But anyway, I’ve once slept at 6+ am, after Subuh. I stayed up all night, working on the computer. Just because. (Meaning; no reason. Saje je. ^^; ) But I actually hate sleeping late, because it means I’ll have a harder time waking up. But when I try tidur awal, not only can’t I sleep, but I wake up feeling just as tired.
Sorry to hear about the assistant. He sounds like a jerk. Really. And sometimes, actually … at times when you’re sure you’re right, just say what you have to say. Even if it means starting a ‘heated discussion’. Keepin things inside isn’t good. Nanti dapat high blood pressure ke, lagi susah.
Same thing with me, with the friends-who-are-dating thing. But what are we supposed to say, “Awak — dating tu haram, tau tak…”? Having boyfriends is just too common a thing now, that … that people seem to ignore the Islamic stand about it. And then they’ll probably say things like, they’re just playing around, bla bla bla… Hrmph.
Mai: So true, Aneesah.. I don’t know what to say to my friends anymore. I tried to nasihat them.. but berlapik2 la.. derang tak paham pon…
And.. the assistant is not really a jerk ;p.. suddenly he apologizes last night. I was kinda suprised. I wonder if he reads my blog!! haha.. it’s a good thing if he realizes his mistakes..
Comment by Aneesah — February 27, 2006 @ 9:17 am
Sahabat. Find one of your own. Start small.
ALLAH’s hidayahis for those who seek them with all their heart. And they are grateful for it.
Comment by hanisah — February 27, 2006 @ 4:49 pm