mkderwish…

Alhamdulillah…

This morning I got a call from IDP Australia (the agent that handles our applications) and guess what?

I have received a conditional offer from the University of Melbourne

and later the same day, I got another phone call informing about Monash University’s offer (which I already know… I wonder why uni of melbourne didnt send me any email….).

So, for now… I don’t have to worry. Alhamdulillah…

For Uni of Melb, the condition I have to fulfill are, completion of PPOU and CGPA of 3.2 or above which is lower (surprisingly) than Monash.

Hmm.. I wonder why I am not as excited as I thought I wud be if I received this offer… I’m always like this. I don’t know how to react, la.. But seriously, getting a place in Uni of Melb has been my main objective since the first sem… I wonder what make me feel like how I feel right now.. Maybe just because the offer hasnt sink in yet… or maybe because I dont have any girl friends who shares the same dream… haha… they all didnt apply for Uni of Melb.. the main reason is the entry requirements are quite high.. especially for SAT. (Uni of Melb wants 1820… I got 1850!) and also they wants good AP results (4 or 5…)

Hmm… right now the date for the coming graduation night is still not fixed. All hotels and convention hall are fully booked on the day that we prefer… what a pity. The people in charge are doing their best I guess… to come out with a fixed date…

Okay, thank you all! for all the doa for me.. and all well-wishers… thank you friends, for being supportive when I was so down and didnt have the confidence… thank you!

Now, let us pray for a good CGPA!! hehe… 3.3 above!! oh no.. better aim high… 3.5 above insyaAllah!

And hopefully everything goes smoothly….

Alhamdulillah. At least my worry has lessen. Syida, I just got a conditional offer from Monash Uni! heheh…
So, now, let us wait for the other 4 universities…. oh, but at least I have a safety net.
The conditions we have to fulfill, complete the PPOU and get 3.3 and above for CGPA. Huhu.. I have to buck up la… macam amat pemalas di semester ini.

This morning we had a Comparative Religion test. Open-book test, mind you. Oh, also open laptop, notes etc2 that can be opened la.. (haha…). I didn’t study for this because of the fact that it was an open-book one.. thank God the questions werent that hard. The answers can be obtained from our books and notes. So yeah, most of us brought our laptop. The class looked like a bilik gerakan or something. Haha..

Tomorrow we will have math test pulak… huhu.. havent studied yet. Have to study after terawikh tonite.. or maybe tomorrow morning after sahur. Hopefully I have the motivation.

Hmm.. final exam is less than 3 weeks away… first paper is on the 13th Oct (Maths+Statistics). Then 16th (EST), 17th (Physics) and 18th (CR). Oh, I cant imagine those are the last exams I have to faced in PPOU history. Haha.. so relieved. But I’m not prepared!

Anyway, I’m in charge of making the program book again, for the graduation night. The chairman said, “we want a program book better and prettier than the YTN’s! “… haha… InsyaAllah, guys… after all I’m the one who made the YTN’s. So, I know where to improve. And I have good and cooperating people working with me… InsyaAllah everything will go smoothly.

Okay.. I better run now.. nak gi ILSAS for berbuka… Selamat Berbuka Puasa!!

Batuk dan selsema datang nak raikan sekali ramadhan…. huhu. Sabar je la, ingatkan batuk hari tu nak baik dah… jadi teruk balik. Cepat-cepat pergi ye. Kepale pun pening tiap hari. Dehydrated ke? huhu… kene minum air banyak-banyak… tapi, means banyakla kunjungan ke toilet. Tu yg tak best tuh.. haha…

Allahumma afini fi badani, Allahumma afini fi sam’ie, Allahumma afini fi basari….
Allahumma inna nas’aluka syifa’an min kulli da’…

A month and a half before I graduate from this programme. Oh, my, I’m excited. Thrilled. Enthusiastic about the coming Grad Night. But I’m not so thrilled to sit for the final exams, which will be held on the week right before hari raya holiday. But I want to get over it, ASAP. But honestly, I think I’m not serious enough in studying in this 3rd sem. I have to work harder la to make the GPA….

Right now we all are waiting for Uni offers. So far I haven’t received anything except an acknowledgement of receiving my application form from UWA only. I know I shouldnt be worried but some of my friends have received conditional offer from Uni of Adelaide. But yeah, I didnt apply for Uni of Adelaide. And no… please.. I dont regret it.

I think I have to sleep now (10.15 pm)… kepale pening plus nak bangun awal esok (3.45 am) nak pi sahur kat ILSAS. N then nak buat golf quiz.. ekeke..

Hmm.. i dun like it, bangun pagi je.. sakit satu badan! huhu… Ujian di bulan Ramadhan….

Semoga istiqamah semua….

I was revising the dalil in the quran concerning fasting when I noticed this particular ayat, right after ayat istinbad hukum puasa (ayat penetapan hukum puasa)…

” Dan apabila hamba-hamba-Ku bertanya kepadamu mengenai Aku, maka (beritahulah mereka): sesungguhnya Aku (Allah) sentiasa hampir (kepada mereka): Aku perkenankan permohonan orang yang berdoa apabila ia berdoa kepada-Ku. Maka hendaklah mereka menyahut seruan-Ku (dengan mematuhi perintah-Ku), dan hendaklah mereka beriman kepada-Ku supaya mereka menjadi baik dan betul ” ~Al-Baqarah:186

and then this ayat is continued by ayat concerning puasa lagi…. cubalah hayati, Mai.. betapa Allah tu dekat dengan kita..Dia dengar segala keluhan, Dia tahu segala masalah, hanya Dia yang benar-benar memahami kita ni… and whatever yang kita minta, sekali pun bende-bende remeh and rase silly, InsyaAllah dimakbulkan… He knows everything.. so kalau we encounter anything, the first yang kita rujuk ialah Allah… walaupun kite terfikir solution.. still rujuk Allah… for He knows more.. janganlah macam bile buntu baru la terfikir nak doa, Mai…. ingat tau!

InsyaAllah, Dia akan makbulkan doa kita… dengan syarat, seperti yang tertulis dalam ayat tu, laksanakanlah perintah Allah… contoh terdekat buat mase sekarang ni, puase la kan…and puase pun bukan puase kosong… yang tak dapat ape2 selain lapar n dahage… semua pon dah faham kan..

Ya Allah, aku hanya bergantung kepada-Mu…

Ramadhan is less than 24 hours away. Ahlan wasahlan ya dhoyfil kareem… ahlan wasahlan….
Semakin dekat ramadhan.. alhamdulillah, semakin banyak peringatan yang datang dalam pelbagai bentuk. Alhamdulillah… I can still notice the silver lining of those dark clouds…

Kepada sesiapa yang membaca entri ni, terutamanya yang mengenali saye personally (ceh, macam dedication radio pulak), saye minta maaf banyak-banyak… and saye maafkan semua, hutang-hutang halal kalau ade yang saye lupe (kalau ade rase saye hutang, mintak ler)… huhu.. marila kite meraikan ramadhan dengan jiwa yang bersih… permulaan yang positif…

Kalau kite perasan, banyak ayat dlm quran yang mention solat n then trus zakat ..”wa aqimussolata wa atuzzakata….(ila akhir ayah)” .. takde la pulak ckp lepas solat, puase kan? so, kat sni kite nampak betape pentingnya pembersihan jiwa kita (zakat one of the function is membersihkan jiwakan..) sebelum ape-ape lagi yang kite nak buat….

Rase agak kekok tulis dalam bm (I’m not bragging okay.. and nor did I want to say something like I sound stupid)…just that macam skema.. hehe…

Okayla…

Semarak Ramadhan… Selamat berpesta Ibadah…!! Bestnye, semua yang kite buat dapat pahala berkali-kali gande (ni kire macam bonus yang extravagant!)…. peluang keemasan, setaun hanya sekali…. taun depan tak tau hidup agi ke tak…. so, we cannot let go of this chance… we dont have anything to lose either…

Ya Allah.. hujani aku terus-menerus dengan hidayah-MU……. I need it very-very badly…

Mai, jangan malas-malas!!!!!!!!!

Kawan-kawan semua, jom kite semua rajin…

(beberape hari lepas, saye mimpi saye mati……. it was so real….)

Alhamdulillah….
Alhamdulillah…
Alhamdulillah…

Thank You Allah for today. Thank You for today….

Kesesakan dan ujian, keserabutan dan gangguan jiwa, are such valuable lessons. Yes, they are so painful for us to endure…. but the many things you gained at the end of the day are priceless.

Alhamdulillah, I am still able to see the bright side of each dark corner…

most importantly, though, I realized my own weaknesses and faults. I am sorry, you know who you are. Thank you for being patient.

But, I am so scared I am deceived…. without me realizing it. You know, you thought you know what is wrong, and that make you happy, but actually you are wrong. You are deceived by your own emotion….

Oh, I am so weak.

Tomorrow InsyaAllah will be better…

Uh… I write this post macam la what I’m going through right now is such a big deal…

(yes…. secretly I think it’s such a big deal………. uh, I don’t understand either…maybe because this serabutness I’m in right now are caused not only by today particular event..macam-macam berlaku… serabutnye…. but it made me realize so many things.. so, yeah… it is a big deal)

Sorry, even I don’t understand….

Today, 19th Sept. My great grandma passed away… she was late 70…at first I couldn’t comprehend my mum’s message. I did read it, but it didn’t sink in. It sure was surreal. I was in my class.. then my mum called, barulah rase sebak. I wanted to go back, but due to some circumstances, I couldn’t. Truthfully, I’m not that shocked. I knew all other family members felt the same. She had been warded in ICU for the past few weeks (or like a month ago or so)… got better a week before this, and then came home… I guess she wanted to left all of us while she was home..

Sedih… she was so cute. You know, how elderly can be cute, in their own way. While she was in the hospital, she cried and hated when it was time for her injection… nurse-nurse semua kene cubit… can u imagine that? she ‘cubit’ed all the nurses… hehe.. I found that cute…because she was so tiny.. so tiny!

And I remembered, a few years back, we went to Kelantan together. Biasela, dalam perjalanan makan-makan jajan n stuff… then I offered her a chewing gum. She was delighted. So, die pun kunyah-kunyah la… baru kejap, she stopped chewing… suddenly keluarkan her falseteeth, the chewing gum melekat kat situ.. and die pun cabut la that chewing gum… “aku tak boleh makan bende ni la…. ” hehe… so cute….

Semoga arwah nek wang (from bugis word, pwang.. which means nenek/atok kot, i’m not quite sure) dirahmati Allah….. dan ditempatkan dalam golongan hamba-hamba-NYA yang beriman…

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Today, 19th Sept. A month before my 19th birthday. Not that I really care actually, but this morning, 12 am, a senior of mine messaged me and wished me a happy birthday. I thought she was actually sending the message to the wrong person, so I just answered casually, “akak, silap message ke?” I didn’t even think of my birthday at that time. Then she replied “Ha? yeke? bukan birthday awak ke? birthday awak bile? hehe.. just kidding la…” I couldn’t help but laughed…. couldn’t sleep until 12.30 am…

Anyway, my student life right now is quite tense la…. My fault. I’m an extreme procrastinator… lots of works postponed… ganbatte!! nak buat sekarang…..

Oh.. ramadhan melambai-lambai… InsyaAllah I’ll meet you with renewed spirit!
Berilah aku hidayah-MU
kekuatan-MU…
sesungguhnya segala kekuatan hanyalah milik-MU….

Ramadhan is coming…
Ya Allah, berilah aku hidayah-Mu…
At this moment I feel like I’m at the lowest point… whatever point it is…
I feel like I’m not prepared for this Ramadhan… that I won’t make use the time in Ramadhan to the fullest… that I’ll feel a lot of regrets later on
With the ‘me’ right now…
I feel it, betapa banyaknya penyakit hati yang bersarang…. Hati ini perlu dibersih….
you know how.. what are you waiting for?

Bertambahnya iman kerana ibadah, berkurangnya iman kerana maksiat…

What if this Ramadhan is the last one for me? For all of us?
Or, will I be able to meet it at all?

Hujani aku dengan rahmat dan hidayah-Mu… I need it, very very badly.

People hate regrets, right?

Hopefully, this is only Local Minimum… (bukak buku calculus!!)

Hish… I seriously am hating myself this week, for being such a lazy bum and procrastinator. Works are postponed, laundry menggunung, time is wasted on dramas/movies.

I don’t know wether I’m forgiving myself today, though. Because I’m not feeling well you see… But right now I’m feeling much better, just overwhelmed by tiredness. But I couldn’t help but feel guilty whenever I see my works ‘resting’ on the table…untouched.

Feel so good too.. because all classes for today were cancelled/postponed. Good thing! or I might skip class again.

Oh, and am so glad I have very understanding housemates. They ‘tapau’ed the lunch for me eventhough I didn’t ask them to do so. Thank you thank you! I was just contempleting on what to eat today (just remembered the empty cupboard.. huhu) when they all went out for lunch. Before they went out, they knocked my room and found me still sleeping.. “weih minah! tido lagi!!! ..” but when they knew that I wasnt so well, they left quietly… ehehe…

Oh, today is tiring, although technically I didn’t do anything!!! sorry sorry…..

Not in the mood to blog. But I want to jolt down ‘events’ that were happening this week… so that I’ll remember when I flip through this blog in the future.

- Still using my old specs, but not the so round one. I use the spare one which I keep in Uniten. My mum said she will post my repaired specs when it is ready. Oh, my world is still so blurry.
- I didn’t pick up my laptop at the service centre. Abah said just leave it there to be repaired. So Abah let me borrow his office’s laptop.
- We were busy preparing for the School Project thing… I was the treasurer, as well as the emcee for the opening ceremony. I guess the programe can be considered as a success.
- Abah promoting Perth… should I go there?? hmmm….
-Went to Midvalley to accompany my friend, meeting her ehem2 for the first time……..
-Busy marathoning to finish ‘My Girl’, a 16 episodes Korean Drama.. at the point of writing, I’m at episode 13…
-Got lots of assignment/quiz/projects to be done!!!! tak best… CR/GOLF/EST.. oh tak lupe juge assignment usrah (sirah).. huhuhu…
-My leg hurts…… terpeleot mase demo galah panjang…
-Buy a new novel, ‘My Best Friend’s Girl’ at MPH
-Breaking my shopping records, I shopped less than 40 at the supermarket! Yeah, berjaya meng’kontrol’ diri..
-Malas nak do laundry… free time tgk drama.. isk isk isk…
-Started to take Evening Primrose Oil…. dengan harapan will relieve the so painful PMS… insyaAllah.. (huhuhuhu)
-Ate a lot of junkssssss…. I need to be stronger (in controlling my ‘lahap’ness la…)
-My cough still tak baik-baik! nearly 3 weeks…

okla… hope u remember all these, Mai.. jangan malas2!!! basya!!!

be strong!

I can pretend, but cannot lie…

One Wednesday evening, she went to Optic Angsana, complaining about her glasses, askewed. So the pakcik kedai repaired it. She still didn’t feel satisfied. “But look, tengok ni.. senget kat sini.” But the pakcik kedai said “Takde la, awak perasan aje tuh. Kalau pakai rase tak selesa ke?” Then she frowned “Tak pun.. tak rase ape-ape pun… huhu.. cume bile tengok cermin, rase mcm senget”… The pakcik kedai said “Takpe takpe. Tak senget pun. Awak pergi jalan-jalan dulu.. kalau rase tak okey, datang balik, ye”…. She left and didn’t come back. Haha. In her heart..”Nak spec baru!!”

One Sunday evening. In the toilet, she was performing wudhu’, the spec on the sink. When she picked it up to wear it, somehow it slipped from her hand and fell. “Mamaaaaa!!!” Yes… sadly, the glasses broke… beyond repairment. Dah takleh pakai dah…. La, macam mane ni? Esok nak balik Uni dah… Lalu dia membongkar semua laci mencari spec lame. Baru teringat spec yang power same ade di Uni ajer. Bongkar-bongkar lagi, terjumpe spec years back. When she was in form 4. Hahaha… so round. Macam Harry Potter punye spec. Rupe-rupenye dulu she got no fashion sense at all… “selekehnye aku dulu…”

Nak buat camne, terpakse la pakai. Tapi agak blurry la. Mane taknye, power increased about 100 kot. Tadi driving pun ala-ala tak nampak jalan n bumper. Huhu… malam pulak tuh. Doa n tawakkal aje la banyak-banyak.
Esok nak balik uni.. huhu.. macammane ni?? kalau tempah new spec sekarang, at least a week baru dapat because I have astigmatism tinggi, leceh sikit nak buat spec… waa… the things I took for granted…

Pengajarannya.. be careful of what you wish for. Nak spec baru sangat! padan muke.. sekarang dah nampak macam budak sekolah nerdy giler.. aku lebih sanggup tak pakai spec kalau cenggini.. dah la spec ni agak senget. Haha.. tadi driving je pakai spec, sampai kedai, bukak… tak nampak muka jurujual. Hahaha… “Digi seploh ringgit pls…”.. orang kedai tuh mesti pelik giler tengok budak beli prepaid mate kecik terkebil-kebil….”Okeh okeh!…”