mkderwish…

There is a long story I want to tell.
What happened these passed few days.
But maybe I wont be able to tell the long story. Since right now I am not in the mood.
It is an interesting story. Really. And I want to tell the whole details. But I am not in the mood.
And I guess, by the time the mood comes, I won’t feel utterly excited about the whole adventure anymore.
What a pointless intro. But anyway… here are some things that happened…

The C2D challenge wasn’t entirely canceled. We changed the program to a some sort of community service. Helping the flooded area. A 4 days n 3 nights events. What an experience. The affected area looked like it had been stormed by tsunami. All muddy and wrecked. And, oh, how tiring. Tiring but felt utter satisfaction. We went to only 2 of the many affected areas. And what we manage to help was so little. Poor them…

Well, yes. Then on the 3rd night of the program, I got a call from my dad, ask me to go back at that very instant. My grandfather passed away. So, I didn’t get to experience the whole event. But I don’t care anymore.

I got to kiss him goodbye..

And I had too many sleep already…..

Assalamualaikum.

On 24th December 2006, at 8.20 pm, my dear grandfather, Haji Derwish bin Ismail passed away.

He died a day before his 90th birthday.

Doakan supaya Allahyarham berada dalam golongan orang-orang yang mendapat rahmat-Nya, dan ditempatkan di jannah-Nya. Al-fatihah…

Banjir.. banjir teruk.
C2-D challenge dibatalkan,
X-Rex pon ditangguhkan…
Kelas tambahan my sis pon distopkan dulu

Alhamdulillah syukur sangat-sangat kawasan kami tak terkesan.
Tapi hari ni hujan balik…

minggu ni, hujan paling lebat (paling byk) in 100 years.

Johor tak pernah prepare for banjir sebesar ini.

Kerja-kerja menyelamat tak efficient lagi..

Sy dengar ade org di segamat stranded kat umah masing-masing… atas bumbung.. dari subuh sampai ke malam.. n right now dah terputus hubungan. Hanya Allah yang tahu apa khabar mereka sekarang.

Tadi dpt sms, banjir disebuah kampung, amat teruk… seorang mangsa lemas.. inna lillah wa inna ilaihi rojiun..

Ada panggilan n sms mintak berkumpul di sana n sini.. tapi skrg hujan.. sy nak pergi jugak.. tapi amat risau.. mak pon risau takut bile kite pergi, ended up stranded too.. menambah nyusah orang. So skrg ni kumpul baju n mknn yg boleh disedekahkan…

Ya Allah. permudahkan segalanya.. berilah kekuatan kepada mereka yang perlukan kekuatan-Mu..

I am kind of busy at home. I want to write about ESQ but there isn’t time for me to ponder and write about it leisurely. I’ll try tonight, but just in case I fail tonight, I want to update this blog nevertheless. Lots to talk about!

Starting this Friday I’ll become a facilitator for a program, kinda like explorace, named C2-D Challenge. It’s part of the R2J program if you know. (A program for lepasan2 spm from my former school). It’s a 4 days race. So I won’t be home until next Monday. It will be interesting, will be held around Johor, and we’ll use my kancil and we’ll take turn driving. Wahh.. I’ve never driven so far! (jauh la sangat…. haha.. i know..)

Oh ya… banjir. Flood. It was bad. But I didnt get to see it. Seharian terperap dlm umah, and my house area wasn’t affected. Just the heavy rain for days straight. It stopped today. My school was affected, however. And some of my friends’ house also affected. Poor them. Semoga Allah memberi pertolongan dan kekuatan kepada mereka semua…

My cousin in Bandung, Indonesia is getting married this 7th Jan. And maybe…. just maybe, I get to go.. to accompany my grandmother because all her children seem like, um, can’t make it. Waah.. I haven’t been out of this country for so long, man. Since I came back from the UK… haha.. hopefully I really-really get to go..

‘Flying away’ matters.. well, everything is done except for my application for accommodation in College Square which I just submitted just now.. haha.. procrastinator me. My visa has been approved. I can go there anytime now.. haha.. Okay, the excitement has increased, which is a good thing because, remember, I didn’t have any enthusiasm weeks before… but I still feel blurrrrrr ….

Okay… I’ll update more later..

I’m back (Now’s 10.37 pm). Tired. Exhausted. Missing home.

Apparently someone forgot to switch off the aircond in the living room when the family left home for KL 5 days ago. When we opened the front door, it’s winter, man! The floor was cold as ice. Seriously. Until now… and the windows were all ’sweating’, macam gelas berisi ice…

Dahla dalam kereta tadi amat sejuk. Harapannye sampai umah boleh la rase warm sikit. Tetapi apakan daya.. lagi sejuk adalah!

Hanaa tengah terjerit-jerit kat bawah. A hobby she acquires recently. Selalu macam tuh. Out of the blue, suddenly jerit..”Aaaaaah!!!” So cute!! Ngade.. ade je her ways to make herself looks cute and adorable.

Okay, let’s see how long I’ve been missing (in action). One day at a friend’s house. 5 days of BTN. A day at another friend’s house. 3 days of ESQ training, and a day of doing nothing really at my auntie’s house (that is today). So.. 11 days. Not so bad. 7 days of mind-torturing lectures of BTN n ESQ. Hehe.. takdela torture pun. I got so many many significant lessons. Will eloborate about BTN n ESQ in the next post. Hopefully

And now let me have a peace of mind, in my sleep

p/s: actually I hate this template. When, oh, when do I have the time to personalize this….

I’ll be going off tomorrow afternoon.
Don’t expect any update for the next two weeks, I guess. I have to stay longer at KL after ESQ.

Shesh… I hate packing… I wonder why people’s baggage is always so small compared to mine. (From previous experiences) I got loads to bring! Did they bring enough stuff? didn’t look like it.. but they survived the program anyway. Not fair. I don’t master the art of packing. Or maybe I bring unnecessary stuffs. But everything seems necessary to me…. (although I ended up not using some of the things anyway). I never learn…. huhu.

Okay dokie… got to sleep now.. it’s 1.02 am…

Mum will be home in an hour time. Yay!! (Now’s 10.28 pm)
I don’t want to live ‘alone’ like this any longer. Sure I feel ‘independant’, with having the car and all, can go anywhere, anytime. But, it’s no fun. (It’s fun but … getting boring by 3rd day). And the house is just tooooo quiet. I don’t like it.

Today I wasted 50 ringgit on 2 school uniforms. Just for the B-TN…. what a waste.. what a waste… Some of you might ask why don’t I use my old school uniform. It’s not because I’m getting bigger, tau!!! but it’s because the colour. Our school uniform is beige in colour… so I had to buy those white uniforms. It was so weird and I kinda felt embarrased when buying the baju kurung. The salesgirl maybe thought I look too ‘young’ to be even form 5er… yeke? haha.. perasan tue la sangat.. perasan look matured. Haha…

And today, I picked up my new specs It’s red! woohoo… My mum and sisters said I look good wearing it, so I chose it. Well, when I chose it I couldn’t clearly see…. so I just depended on my mum and sisters opinion. I look okay, I guess. But personally I prefer my old specs, which is still in a good condition, but with different power. But… who doesn’t love new specs! haha.. and my sis said this is stylish… haha. Okay, now I’m stylish, tau! .. haha

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(12.09 am)
Yay! Mum’s home! Hanaa’s home! and everyone’s home! Alhamdulillah. Well, except Abah, n both of my older sisters.
This house is back to normal again. I’m glad… hehe. The end of improper meals. ;p
Oh, Hanaa is soooo cute. Oh, miss her so much. She misses me too. Heh.

Um, I’m not looking forward for the B-TN (9th till 13th Dec). But I sure am looking forward for the ESQ training which will be held on the 15th till 17th December.

What I hate is… packing! huhu… lots to pack… 5 days of BTN plus 3 days for ESQ. And a day between those 2 events. Wah, nearly 10 days of clothes. Byknyer…

Due to some circumstances, we are to be left ‘alone’ a little longer. Maybe until wednesday, maybe thursday. My dad has to go to Dubai, until Saturday, maybe.. so my brother will have go to KL to accompany my mum and all the sistah home.. since my dad doesn’t permit my mum to drive home alone.

Huhu.. what to eat/cook tomorrow?

Today I made the lunch… haha… I just fried the chicken drummets and made an omelet. It didn’t matter though, because my sisters woke up just in time for dinner. (well, of course this in an exaggeration, but it’s true they woke up late and didn’t take their lunch.. let alone breakfast!). So, for dinner we ordered pizzas. I keep thinking…. living like this is sooo not healthy… lunch was all oily… and dinner was fatty.. haha…. and no vegetables at all… and I’m the one who are responsible!

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The paragraphs above were written last night. I forgot to finish and publish it..

Anyway… this morning I’m going to send my brother to the bus station…
and after that, I’m going out with some friends… yay.. huhu.. but i feel kinda reluctant to leave home .. maybe I’ll take all the
‘kids’ also… all 3 of them to shopping with me… haha .. lunch there! senang cerita…

Actually, right now I’m feeling kinda serabut.. huhu… I don’t want to go to B-TN, la.. so far and waste of time… and money…. huhu.. but we all have to go.. and I have to buy new baju kurung just because of this 5 days ‘camp’. Stupid rules….
Anyway, I hope I’ll be alright with my books and mp3 with me there..

And right after that, maybe I’ll stay in KL.. for ESQ training … ever heard of that? yea! I’m going! with my eldest brother. My mum said I have to participate… can change my attitude right before I fly (fly fly away).. haha.. yeah, people.. it’s never to late…I still have hope! haha… (kidding..). Seriously, I heard this ESQ thing is so good. I have high expectation to tell the truth. And I’m excited to participate! And yeah, I want to change.. be a better person.

Hmm.. people have been asking me how I feel… yela, I’m going to Aussie soon… Honestly, it feels surreal. And I don’t feel so excited about it. I’m not excited… Even I am puzzled, why, eh? I feel like staying in M’sia … I feel reluctant to leave… hehe.. I’ll miss so many things. But anyway, maybe this is just temporary. I mean, I’ll be excited when the time comes.. haha..

But… I am so thankful to Allah. Seriously… Everything I prayed for, is granted. Of course I didn’t get everything I want. But I get everything I need, and prayed for badly. Alhamdulillah.. I got good GPA. for sem 1, 2 and 3. My SAT scores are satisfactory (enough). My TOEFL is good. AP results turned out fine for me despite all the problems and misunderstanding. And I got a place in a uni I’ve been wishing for since I came to PPOU… and all the unis I applied to… and I have a great big family… and I have cool friends.. and I’ve been living in a very secure environment…no great financial problem… what more could I ask for?

Alhamdulillah.. and.. HE have given me the most precious ni’mah of all…I still am a muslim. And I hope I can improve.. be a better muslim.. a better daughter, a better sisters, a better student, a better friend, a better daie.. InsyaAllah..

(Anyway, I failed to put into words what I really am thinking… but I think the above paragraphs should do..)

It’s 3 in the morning. And what am I doing? hmm.. downloading new fonts ;p at http://www.dafont.com
Today was quite a day. Independant? so-called, la …

Our parents and all little sisters (’primary school’ers and hanaa’) are in KL right now. Until Tuesday. And we are left alone in the house. Just the 5 of us (Just! haha.. I know.. 5 is not a ‘just’, but with a big family like mine, it does feel like ‘just’..), my eldest brother, me, my younger brother and another 2 younger sisters.

I spent most of my morning watching Heroes, episode 2 till 5 (I watched episode 1 a couple of days earlier). Interesting series, I must say. Can’t wait for the rest of the episodes to finish downloading.

Our lunch was some fast food. Lunch at 3, mind you. Haha. I bought it while I was on the way driving my younger bro to his futsal match… with his friends.

Then our dinner was at a nerby restaurant, at 8. Mama Chops Papa Grills. I was so full. Ordered some kind of chicken chop (well, the proper name is Chicken Maryland) and turned out they served it with bananas… huhu… and the chicken was just too much for me to finish. Kenyang, Alhamdulillah.

Before dinner, I taught my younger brother ‘add math’, just a bit of the first chapter (Function). Haiya… I seriously can’t be a math teacher,la. I’m meant for Physics, man… haha. Good thing he understood what I taught. Or maybe he’s just so brilliant.

And also, he just set-up a new blog. And right now (yes, right now, 3.29 am) he is busy tweaking his template. And just now he has successfully begged me to help him making the header, using photoshop, and went all ‘waah’ and ‘ohh..’ and.. ‘mantap ah.. tak sangke ngko bleh buat cenggini.. tak caye la kakak aku gini’ … ceh, you underestimated me, eh! (well, although my photoshop skills are so minimal.. but still okayla, can eksen2 depan adik.. haha… but I’m far from being a pro)

All in all, I think… it’s good to stay at home alone, feeling all independant and all, can sleep whenever we want… but I don’t want to live like this forever! haha… I mean, I cannot live eating just outside food. Yeah, yeah.. I should’ve cook! but… my cooking skill is not sufficient enough right now.. haha… I’ll improve it, of course..

Maybe tomorrow I’ll cook… ala, just a simple lauk.. ikan sambal ke.. simple enough… or maybe just goreng whatever can be gorenged. haha…

Shesh, sooner or later I have to know how to cook ‘complicated’ lauks…. after all I’m going to live alone in aussie… nanti crave lauk sedap2 kang! kene masak sendri juga…

Anyway, I feel good about all of us staying at home together like this.

Hmm.. though, I do feel like living with crazy people… betul! mane taknye… suddenly my younger bro, or my sis screamed “Hanaa’!!!” .. and then ran to hanaa’s cot….and pretended like the pillow was her… and yeah, me too, actually. It’s only been a day. And we miss hanaa’ already. Her laughs and smiles are just unforgettable! So cute!

And the house is just too quiet without some of us… mak, abah.. cepat balik ye.. hehe…

15 minutes to 4 am. My eyelids are getting heavier. I guess I better go to sleep now…. hehe

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061201/us_nm/usa_muslims_fear_dc

‘When radio host Jerry Klein suggested that all Muslims in the United States should be identified with a crescent-shape tattoo or a distinctive arm band, the phone lines jammed instantly.

The first caller to the station in Washington said that Klein must be “off his rocker.” The second congratulated him and added: “Not only do you tattoo them in the middle of their forehead but you ship them out of this country … they are here to kill us.”‘

‘Klein’s show followed a week of heated discussions on talk radio, including his own, and online forums over an incident on November 22 involving six Muslim clerics. They were handcuffed and taken off a US Airways flight after passengers reported “suspicious behavior” that included praying in the departure gate area.’

Click the link above to read the full news.

My comment? “Ignorance is the number one problem. Education is of the essence.”

and of course.. fear…. people are afraid, but refuse to know more…