mkderwish…

I’m freaking out!

Less than 2 weeks left!

Accommodation, settled.. alhamdulillah.
Money vanished in a blink of an eye. Haha. I used the traveller’s cheque the sponsor gave us to pay the accommodation deposit. Convert AUD 4159 to ringgit –> RM 11403.98 .. waa.. I never saw the money since the bank officer handled everything i.e. changed the traveller’s cheque and right after that transfer to CS account. Haha.. I didn’t know I was that ‘rich’.

Time seriously passes really fast.. it sure flies..haha.

12 days..

Many things still to be bought. Haha. Unbelievable me.

I want a digital camera… huhu. Hopefully I can have it before I depart. And this laptop needs to be fixed. And I need to buy some toiletries. And I need to buy so much more things…

Huhu..seriously I’m freaking out and feel so unprepared. I’m not ready to leave. I don’t want to leave home. After this, things will never be the same.

Hanaa will surely forget me.. huhu.. I can never see her saying her first word, her first step.. her first birthday.. wuhuhu.. well, of course we got camera, video and all that stuff but they can never replaced ‘LIVE’..haha
and when I go back after a year.. she will be a lot bigger.. duh..

Tomorrow I’ll go out with some friends.. yay..

I was surprised when my sister came back from school and brought home this a couple of days ago…She said this is being sold at school.

Why was I surprised when I saw this, you may ask. Well,you see…. the ‘cartoon’ was drawn by me years back. And the only times I published/posted it on the net were once in my blog, and another time I attached it with an email to a mailing list (my batch’s mailing list). Take a look carefully.. haha.. right down there is my name…mkderwish.

Haha… I am not mad or anything.. they use my works without my permission, I’m not mad.. because there’s still mkderwish down there.. haha.

But this triggers me to think … how something so small that we do, that we think people couldn’t care less about.. that we think won’t attract people.. that we think doesn’t have much value…that even ourselves forget… how this thing, touches others… how it actually can bring benefit to others. That it means something to someone..

I am touched.

Thank you whoever use the cartoon.. because secara tidak langsung, aku juga menyumbang, sesuatu utk dana sekolah, sesuatu untuk Islam.. dan pahala bagiku.. InsyaAllah. Terima kasih banyak-banyak…

Makes me think too, I have the abilities.. but I use too much of my time doing things that don’t really benefit Islam, humankind. I have the talent.. but I’m wasting it. This kinda like irresponsible, right? Like, Allah has given all of us amanah.. and we never really use our abilities to the optimum level.. to help Islam.. to fulfill the amanah… We are after all HAMBA ALLAH.

Hmm.. I guess after this, nak lukis banyak-banyak lagi! hehe.. walaupun takdela selawo mane.. at least I can do something….

And…I realize.. how long have I left behind ‘lukis-lukis’ and all things arts… oh, miss it so much… miss it so much.
I am too “physicsied”(this is invented by me btw..jangan marah) I guess… hahaha…

:)

I’m not busy. But there are so many things happening right now.

Yup yup! My sister is home after 1 and a half years. Not that long of a time, but she sure has changed physically. Hahahaha *evil laugh ni*. Jangan mare.. but she’s used to it by now I guess. People keep tormenting her with cruel remarks. I understand how u feel, sistah… Now we are even… huhuhu.

She and my father brought back home a lot of chocolates… yummy! From Egypt and from Dubai. And she brought a lot of Egyptian food too. All the fruits, chicken luncheon , and halwah… and some souvenirs like key chain, diary and brooches and many other stuffs. Wah…she sure knows how to shop. A talent she inherits from my mum. I think I have that talent too.. muahaha… Well, she can do that because stuff in Egypt are so cheap. I think if I’m going to go back to Malaysia from Aussie, I’ll go back empty handed…because stuff there are much more expensive.. huhu.. well, we’ll see.

Hum.. 2 weeks left.

Can u imagine I haven’t settled my accommodation yet! Arrgh.. I want to blame IDP because they didn’t email me the acceptance form earlier (when I called only then they sent it..) , but I guess it’s my fault because I submitted the application quite late jugak…. huhu.

Hmm, anyway.. I’m gonna settle it tomorrow. We have to pay AUD 4159 ! huhu..that’s a lot of money. Thank Allah, we already received our allowances from the sponsor.

Suddenly my mood to write vanished. So am going to end this…

Till next time.. with a proper entry…InsyaAllah…

A typical spam email I got nearly everyday … I couldn’t help but laugh. Hahaha.
Poor people who actually believe this…

—————————————————–

Date: Wed, 24 Jan 2007 13:12:32 +0900 (JST)
From: “linda kuba”
Subject: PRIVATE MESSAGE FROM MISS LINDA

Dearest One,

After carefully reading and considering your profile, I wish to apeal for your help, I hope you’re fine, my name is Miss Linda Kuba, the only daughter of Mr and Mrs Coulibaly Kuba, I’m 19 Years old, I’m unmarried without kids. Unfortuantely, life is not that so good on my side.

My sufferings and ordeals began after my uncle masterminded the killing and mysterious disappearance of my father in his business visit to France . This painful lose of my father traumatises me everyday, because I’m living in difficulty. All the assets of my father has been taken away by my uncles, due to the fact that I’m not able to carry out any actions against them because my life is largely treatened. Before the death of my father, I was a student reading chemical engineering at the university and could not complete this program due to these problems.

One important thing I would like to tell you is about my father deposit in a security company, before his death he deposited a Metalic trunk box containing (8.700 Million United States Dollars ), in Abidjan cote d ivoire West Africa, which he disguised and declared the box to contain family valuables instead of money, by this way the company does not know the true content of the box. I have in my possesion the deposit document which the company gave to my late father when he deposited the box with the security company. I really don’t know what to do. This is because I have suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisis here in cote d’ivoire.
The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life. I am in a sincere desire of your assistance in this regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.

Now permit me to ask these few questions:-

1. Can you honestly and willingly help me?
2. Can I completely trust you?
3. What percentage of the total amount in question will be good for you
after the money is in your country?
4. Can you stand in as my father’s foriegn partner to claim the box from the company?

If you decide to positively help me, I will send you the deposit document and the informations to contact the security company for information about the box Please, Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible. Thank you so much and God bless you.

Kind regards,
Linda Kuba
—————————————–

Haha… hurm….

I’ll post a proper blog entry later. InsyaAllah. Just wanna share this one..

18 days left.

Our flight to Melbourne will be on the 12th February 2007. 9:55 am. Have to be there at KLIA 3 hours before that. I wonder why we have to go so early. 6:55 am. Not a good time. It’s inconvenient for relatives or friends to come.

Insya-Allah we’ll reach Melbourne around 8:30 pm.

That day is my mum’s birthday. She’ll be 45.

Many things are still unsettled.

My accommodation at College Square; I will be sharing an apartment with a Mara scholar. But we haven’t received the agreement form or anything yet. So my place there is not confirmed yet. Getting really-really worried here.

My laptop is not yet fixed. The keyboard to be more specific. Hanaa has succesfully pulled out another key. I wish I’ll get a new laptop instead. hahaha… dreaming is gooooood.

My sister in Egypt, Hasanah will come back tomorrow. Yay!

My father will arrived from Dubai tomorrow, too. Just at different time. Hehe.

By the way, my big brother is in the hospital now. He’ll undergo a knee surgery ,tomorrow also. Everything just because he wants to play the football again. Pray that all the procedures will go well.

Hmm.. everything will be fine. Don’t worry. Keep on praying. Good Luck!

Yesterday I was hardworking enough to cook. I went out in the morning, bought seekor chicken, and some other cooking stuff. Enthusiastic to be able to do everything independently, konon. Oh by the way, the orang kedai ayam recognized me, although I have never met him before.. “Anak Cik Din kan? mana mak awak?” and then said to his friend “Ni ha, anak cik din ofis atas” ..haha.. yup yup.. the kedai situated just below my dad’s office…

So I cooked ayam masak merah, yup, easy enough. I didn’t prepare any vegetables because I know it’ll only be wasted. Haha.

This tastes yummy by the way (hahaha). Don’t be deceived by how it looks. Trust me, I have asked all my siblings. Haha.
But maybe because I cooked to much for only 6 of us (little kids).. there’s some of it left.(yup, up there are the leftovers..huhu)

That kinda left me with no mood to cook today.
So, I ‘made’ this …

and everyone’s happy. That’s more important, right. And it finished. No messy cleaning-up needed.

And being a responsible big sister thatI am, yesterday after asr, I drove all of us to Angsana. Poor sisters they were bored at home ;p. I know, this is like an excuse to me.. because I was the one who invented the idea in the first place. Yum I love shopping. Oh, and the cashier recognized me, as always. Asking “Mana mak awak? adik-beradik awak semua perempuan ke?” Hehe.. I know… the whole taman knows my mum.. especially all the salesgirls at Angsana.

Oh, and we bought CD Cinta…yup the movie.. oh, and don’t even let me start commenting on this! Completely ciplak punya movie… throughout the movie I can see ‘Love Actually’, ‘One Tree Hill’, ‘Panas Salju’, ‘One Litre of Tears’ and some other. Haiya.. when will Malaysian movie maker be completely original, la.. And that Syarifah Amani.. she does sound stupid when she speaks malay, la.. serious.. at first I thought “die ni berlakon jadi budak retarded ke??” and yeah.. memalukan orang JB (in the movie, she’s from JB)…. tapi adela things yang I like dalam this movie. If only I didn’t watched all the movies/drama I mentioned above, I might like it even more…

All in all.. I still don’t like to be really ‘in-charge’,,, tiring….
Waaa… mama cepat la balik.. huhuhu…

11:52:21 PM

Saturday, Jan 20, 2007 M
Muharram 1 , 1428 H

Location: Johor Bahru
Latitude: 1.65
Longitude: 103.6
Qiblah Direction: 293.0911 (From North Clockwise)
Time Zone: GMT +8

Salam Maal Hijrah.
Di sini permulaannya tahun baru aku. 1.65° ke utara garisan khatulistiwa, 103.6° ke timur Greenwich.
Dan hari ini Abah berada di 25.2522° utara garisan khatulistiwa, dan 55.28° ke timur Greenwich.
Dan Mama pula di 3.1667° U , 101.7° T. Uswah pun sama. Ahmad pun sama, eh tak.. die 0.1° U kurang dari Mama dan Uswah.
Suhaib di 4.5167° U , 103.45° T
Hasanah pula di 31.1981° U , 29.91° T.
Dan adik-adik yang lain semuanya bersama aku. Kecuali Hanaa of course. Dia dengan mama.

Walau di mana pun kami semua memulakan tahun baru ini, namun semoga masing-masing mendapat penerusan hidayah dari yang Esa. Moga hati-hati kami terus terikat erat di bawah lindungan kasih yang Maha Pecinta.

Dan InsyaAllah.. minggu depan kami akan bersatu kembali di sini. Di rumah ini. Yang aku tak pasti apa specific lagi latitute/longitudenya… sebab 1.65° ke utara garisan khatulistiwa, 103.6° ke timur Greenwich tu luas sebenarnya. Tapi di sini.. InsyaAllah di sini.

(Wah macam kisah cinta pulak)

P/S: Dapat teka tak abah dan yang lain-lain dimana?

——
I was planning to publish this before midnight. Oh well, I failed. But Nevermind. What more important is the message is delivered (I hope so).

I know btn has passed long ago. But I just got this picture from a friend. This is me and some of my PPOU friends at BTN. We are like some primary school students :p .

And this pic, I like it … This is my Krypton (haha.. I’m serious) class at uniten. I’m inside that pic too! This kinda shows a typical day at our class. When there was no lecturer around. Oh, and the date there is wrong.

(Malay language mode today)

Selalu terfikir… apelah nak jadi dgn diri ni. Dari dulu, sejak pandai berfikir, aku tekad, nak berubah, nak berubah, nak berubah. Tapi aku rasa, semangat je lebih. Selalunya hangat-hangat tahi ayam. Sekejap je ‘panas’ … lepas tu gradually menyejuk. Apa silapnya? Di mana silapnya?

Mungkin aku kurang daya paksa diri.

Mungkin juga sebab aku senang terlupa. Lupa. Lupa. Nasaya. Manusia… aku manusia rupanya…

Tapi nak kata aku tak berubah langsung dari dulu, tak betul la kan. Alhamdulillah ade bende yg aku rasa dah diimprove. Cumanya ade benda yg susah nak buang; MALAS.

Duduk di rumah ni, buat aku fikir banyak. Rasanya, bila aku duduk seorang, aku lebih pandai uruskan diri. Yela, rasa tanggungjawab lebih sebab terfikir seperti, kalau bukan aku, siapa lagi.. kalau aku tak start buat, sampai bila-bila pun takkan mula.

Tapi di rumah ni, terase diri amatlah hampeh + pemalas. Yela, tinggal beramai-ramai. Selalu mengharap ade org lain yang akan buat ape yg selalunya kita buat… dan banyak kerja yang dianggap bukan tanggungjawab kita.. ish ish ish. Aku tau.. teruk kan?

Kadang-kadang tu rase macam nak cepat-cepat je tinggalkan rumah supaya boleh jadi seorang yang bertanggungjawab sikit.. bukan nye nak kata rumah membuatkan aku jadi org yang tak bertanggungjawab.. tapi sbb dekat rumah, rasa macam nak rilek je sentiasa, dan jadi manja konon-konon. Tapi, rasa taknak tinggalkan rumah lagi besar. Nanti mesti rindu tahap ekstrim. Tapikan, bila lagi kita nak berbakti kat keluarga kalau tak kat umah.

Rasa kesal sebab tak mempergunakan masa yang ada ni sebaiknya. Banyak bahan bacaan yang aku dah rancang dah nak baca. Rasa curiosity amat tinggi. Nak baca! Nak baca! tapi… tapi selalu tangguh-tangguhkan pembukaan ke muka surat baru… haha. Current list of books-to-read: ESQ, Bio-mechanics khusyuk in Solat, stories from the hadiths, dan banyak lagi… bilakah, oh bilakah? Novel-novel? banyak juga tak dibaca lagi.. beli berpuluh-puluh ringgit, hish.. membazir.. dan banyak jugak e-books and pdf files macam-macam yg didownload dan selamat saved dalam satu folder khas dalam laptop.. tapi masih belum sempat-sempat dibuka… and baca…

Nak kata sibuk aku ni? langsung tipu…

Rutin harian aku… bangun.. sarapan.. mandikan hanaa.. makankan hanaa … main ngan hanaa…masak.. tgk tv sket (oprah je slalunye, tu pun separuh-separuh).. um, internet (ni yang paling lama)…sediakan lunch+dinner… tu jer.. tak sibuk pun.. tupun kadang-kadang mak dah mandikan n makankan hanaa.. kira perkara yang macam membantu kat umah hanyalah masak.. punyela pemalas budak ni…

Huhu.. ni kira buka pekung sendiri. Tapi aku berniat dengan cara ni dapatlah aku rajin sikit. Mak pun geram je sbb aku tak tolong mase adik-adik nak bersiap ke sekolah pagi-pagi bute. Dan aku tak suka sidai kain sbb mesti rase rimas semacam (panas yang menggatalkan.. allergic kot dengan sidai kain..haha). Okay Mak! InsyaAllah start esok mai rajin .. huhu…
harapnye…

Lagi 25 hari.. aku tak nak sia-siakan.. dan aku tak nak menyesal.

Rajinla mai.. tak rugi apa-apa pun.. dapat pahala banyak lagi..

Wah..pandai aku memotivasikan diri sendiri… yeah rite

Ya Allah, bantu aku…Kau beri aku kekuatan.. namun aku selalu sia-siakannya.. ampuni aku.. bantulah aku…bimbingi aku..

In the name of Allah the most gracious, the most merciful…

If Allah do touch thee with hurt, there is none can remove it but He: if He do design some benefit for thee, there is none can keep back His favour: He causeth it to reach whomsoever of His servants He pleaseth. And He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Jika Allah menimpakan sesuatu kemudharatan kepadamu, maka tidak ada yang dapat menghilangkannya kecuali Dia. Dan jika Allah menghendaki kebaikan bagi kamu, maka tak ada yang dapat menolak kurniaNya. Dia memberikan kebaikan itu kepada siapa yang dikehendaki-Nya di antara hamba-hamba-Nya dan Dia-lah Yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Penyayang.

Surah Yunus : 107