mkderwish…

Last Thursday, we had a lecture on Aristotelian philosophy in Islamic and Christian thought.
The chronological story that the lecturer told us, made me depressed. Felt like crying. My mind couldn’t help but think “Why… why.. why..”

Secularism started then. When the traditional Greek philosophy became known as the pre-Islamic or foreign science. The story was long.. but people were asking questions like “Do you trust reason? or do you trust faith?” .. conflicts arised.. science and religion just couldn’t mix. Problems after problems came when they ‘tried’ to reconcile those 2.. they said, it just couldn’t be.

I just cannot accept how people are so egoistic. So self-centered. We are merely human being. Our mind is LIMITED. How can you base your reasons on your limited senses and what you can perceive of this world. Reason and faith come hand in hand. The power of our mind is limited, but at least it is capable to think that we are imperfect. That is why we need revelation to guide us. Because HE knows best.

All the conflicts that the philosophers gone through are proven to be so out of place. I’m not sure how to say this. But they were closed minded while being open-minded. Know what I mean? Whatever that they went through only proves that we are so limited. It’s good that they started to inquire about things and the phenomena around us. If not, we won’t be able to achieve this kind of technology (and students won’t have to struggle with so many theorems of maths and theories in physics, but that’s another story!). But this also shows that we can’t base our faith only through reason by our own mind. Again, our mind has the limit. Afala ta’kilun..

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I failed. To convey what I really think.

Yesterday something happened. Something happened that made me feel like quitting instantaneously.
I know I can’t write well. I know sometimes I only lead people to misunderstanding. Misinterpretation.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry. But I cannot quit. I’m learning. I know I can’t express myself efficiently. But at least I have tried. I wanted to stop but sometimes I just need to write.

Just… don’t say I’m egoistic when you’re the one who actually are.. and don’t sesuka hati misinterpret my words… to serang me back.. I know I have many many weaknesses.. can you at least ponder back at yourself and reflect your own weaknesses pulak.. Don’t say things like you know me so well… you don’t. I wish you are reading this… I know you don’t.

(Ni takde kena mengena ngan any entries.. but somehow things jumbled up and rase cam terkait isu demi isu.. or maybe aku je perasan.. hish)

I hate it when I feel like this. And I owe so many people… not money, but ‘other things’. I’m so sorry. Sometimes I just don’t know how… tell me when you notice.. k?

Waa.. tak paham la mai…

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teringin nak tgk meteor shower..

http://www.universetoday.com/2007/08/09/aurigid-meteor-shower-september-1/#more-11590

tapi akan nampak ke dari sini?

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I have to stop consuming coffee la.. it triggers migraine.. huhu.
Die ade placebo effect utk stay awake time lecture.. tipu semua tu, Mai!..
(Sleepy betul mase lecture physics tadi.. slept throughout.. huhu… )
no more coffee… at least not between lectures.. kat umah terpaksela minum bile ade org buat
say no to headache!

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Rabbi syrahli sadri, wayassirli amri.. wahlul ukdatammillisani.. yafkahu kauli.. (20:25-28)