mkderwish…

I miss myself.
SO what am I now?
Good question.

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We are travellers.

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I want to go to outer space so badly. When will it be affordable?? I want to take a look at the earth from above (or side, or relative to you, or your own defined dot). I want to see the moon… and the sun… when I don’t feel so big anymore. When I’m up high and have separated myself from my comfort zone. Where I feel I’m so insignificant.

I always say this to people, but rarely people are interested to listen (sadly, huhu.. I’m over enthusiastic I guess): There are on average (or estimated) 100 billion (100 with 9 zeros after it) stars in a galaxy. Our sun is just one of them. And there are more galaxies in the universe than all the sands on this earth, and that’s LOTS and LOTS if you can’t imagine that. Too many. Way too many. And to think that in a galaxy there are 100 billions of stars.. so how many stars are there all together? and where do we stand amongst all these. ..
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Some nasihah from the Quran:

Iqra..

Fasiru fil ardhi..

La tamsyi fil ardhi maraha…

Fasbir sabran jameela..

My mum buat bisnes.

Choc cakes = RM 12/bekas.. oh sedang hangat di pasaran. Cepat2! Amat sedap.

Madu asli pahang = RM 20 /balang besar, RM 10/ balang kecik, RM 5/bekas kecil comel.

Ada juga woman stokings = RM 3 only! Tudung bulat pun ade (tak pasti harga berapa, kene cek balik).. tudung 3 segi tak pasti ade lg ke tak. Kain tudung bulat tak jahit lagi pelbagai warna= RM 15 only (1.5 meter).

Maybe I should put some pictures. Maybe I will later.

Saya tgh absorb kesemangatan my mummy berbisnes nih. But I think I’m not good in doing business. Cepat kesian kat customer kalau diri sendiri rase mahal. Huhu.

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Anyway, what happened the past week? Oh, many things. I should’ve post a proper entry about it. In fact, I already did but it’s safely kept as draft. I haven’t finished writing about it yet. And I’m not sure whether I’ll be able to. I will, insyaALLAH.

Yang penting, I really love every second of last weekend. I’m glad I came to their program (Explorace and KBM R2J2). Besides, I have my best friend with me there, together as facis… we exchanged opinions.. talked about each other’s situation. And recalled the almost forgotten memories of our school days. I feel relieved. Jazakillahu khayran, abalasa linyah …

R2J2 (Road to Jawa)… they’re going this thursday. Hopefully things go well..
Rabbana yassirlana wala tu’assir..

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Silalah datang ke rumah.. rambutan sedang menguning.. sedaaap! Alhamdulillah.. bestnye ada pokok rambutan kat perkarangan umah.. menyegarkan tau.

Now is the time,
when I feel like writing lots.
But I don’t know what.

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Semangat. Enthusiasm.
Sometimes it’s imbalanced.
You need to be enthusiastic. But I’m tired of being a ‘hangat-hangat-taik-ayam’ kind of person.
That’s why, you need to be very strong. Strong, against your own self.
Push, push yourself to the limit. It’s hard, but so worth it. Cliche sentence -> No pain, no gain. Yup, so true.

Hmm.. I haven’t push myself hard enough. I know. I barely feel tired. You know what i mean? I haven’t even reached the minimum of the level below my limit (if you can imagine limit as the pinnacle in a building so high with so many levels).

So what stops me.

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Home, is sooo home that I feel sooo at home. Do you know how that feels? I’m sure many of us understand. Feel so at home. Suddenly all changes that have taken places are forgotten. You are home again. Sure you know how that feels. Home, you act like ‘at-home’…

It’s good to be home…

but, you have a real, eternal home there… yup, the destination that you are delusioned to think like it’s so far away… you can build it now, decorate it beautifully, without worrying about the budget, now, you know… but so many of us have chosen to forsake it.. burn it.. destroy it… then, where else will you stay later on…? we know there’s only 2 choices… yup, in the end, it’s only between those 2… it’s all about choices.

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*memujuk diri*

Do you know that our earth is barely habitable?
If it’s smaller, the plate tectonics wouldn’t be able to form..means life couldn’t form..
If it’s bigger, the earth could have globe-spanning ring of fire, due to the activeness of carbon cycle, results from the activeness of plate-tectonics … or something like that :p

That’s one of the so many points and wonders that scientist have discovered. How unique our earth is.. evolution? baaah.. there must be some agreeable points in the theory but as a whole theory, life out of nothingness, it’s quite bizzare… and rather illogic.. ironic, yeah.. because most people think they’re being logical by advocating the theory…

But it’s similarly important for us not to reject a theory outright… know what i mean? …

And the so many conspiracy theories. Sometimes I can just laugh it off..
Like, of course Darwin did what he gotta do, right.. He was a scientist.. I’m sure He didn’t have any intention to collapse an empire or something similar.. He wrote what he thought was right and logical to him, with the limited resources and evidences that he had…

It’s our own duty to critically think.. the substance of the knowledge, not the propagator. Well, I know you can say something like, people are the things they do..but! you know what I’m trying to convey here, right..

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Otakku sudah berkarat. Rindu nak pergi lecture (wah, ajaib). Nak belajar sungguh-sungguh untuk semester akan datang. (Tau, setiap kali pun cakap gini… tapi, berusahalah!).

I need some physics to get me going… haha.

You know, I just found this tv program, called Discover Magazine.. best sangat. Yea, call me ‘ketinggalan zaman’. (Because the program pun nampak cam dah lame.. huhu.. cam 70-an gitu). But that wouldn’t change my excitement. I rarely watch tv nowadays.. kalau tengok pun, manelah tau which program yang ade, because tgk sekejap2 and takdelah I scrutinize through the guide kan.. pastu I like watching ‘How it’s made’ jugak… menarik. Oklah, I have choosen Discovery Science as my favorite channel.

Semalam on that program, they showed us the wonder of the batsss. Yeah, bats. Kelawar itu. How its sonar system (if we can call it that) is so efficient and remarkable, like they can slow down time so that they’ll have technically more time to analyze all sounds they receive, or something like that la.. menarek kan.. and people are learning from these bats.. to build their own sonar system (dlm rancangan tu for kapal nak kesan mines) but they are not even close to the bats. Like, impossible la kan nak slow down time! This bring us to the special relativity theory .. the theory that people at that time (of the publication of the theory) said only 2 people can really understand other than Einstein (oh, wait a minute, that’s General theory lah..) ..but tak kesahlah kan.. yang penting, the theory is still a theory… we have a very loooooong way to go to actually tiru the bat way…

Subhanallah! tu baru sejenis binatang iaitu kelawar yang kite semua tak suka .. sebab muka die cam seram.. and kalau masuk umah cam takut kan..

Banyak lagi sangat yang out-of-the-world punye bombastic la kan, the wonder of all the animals on earth ni..

Kalau terase jauh tgk animal, tengok our very own badan pun dah cukup..

Heh, menarek la tgk satu show ni, about savant… all about the complexity of our brain.. and how we can increase our ‘geniusness’ by applying magnetic pulse or something thru our brain.. and how they are planning to make a device like that, available to public.. utk mengincrease ‘geniusness’ .. tapi stakat ni that thing works only for one hour after applying the pulse… haha.. boleh lah.. sebelum masuk exam hall, memagneticpulsekan diri.. that’s enough.. huhu..
ape2pun.. we still cannot really comprehend how our brains actually work kan..

How wonderful is the earth.. How wonderful all Allah’s creation are..
Kalau Allah nak, boleh je dia taruk kte kat mane2, tak payah makan, tak payah minum, this world plain je..
Tapi this earth, amat lawa, amat menarik, full of wonders… semua ni, tanda kasih-sayangNya..
The world, has LOVE as its colour …

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Time is relative. Ideas are infinite.

(Quote yg dpt dr channel tersebut)

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(I don’t claim all the above facts are accurate. Sila cek sendri jika tertarik utk mengetahui kesahihannya dan perkara lebih lanjut)

I want to see Aurora Borealis from space…

Berangan tak igt.. yg dari land pun tak penah tgk…

Nampaknya post yang dah ditulis tadi tidak berjaya dipublish. Terhilang. Tensi pun ye jugak, tapi I trust, maybe sbb ade benda yang sepatutnya tidak patut ditulis..

Anyway, I couldn’t make through the 5 days of R2J outdoor camp… atas kecederaan yang tidak diduga-duga ..

really zapped me back to reality…

we can never guess what’s gonna happen the next second kan..

Allah dan rancangan-NYA..

hati aku ni, sedang sakit.. perlu dibersih-bersih jika mahu beramal istiqamah bersulamkan keikhlasan…

sudah lama aku lalai dan tidak khusyuk….

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I feel like talking and talking.. kalau kena pada orangnya, I can spend hours, ceritakan everything…

but sometimes (or most of the time), it’s better to remain quite…

“Man yu’min billah wal yaumil akhir, falyaqul khairan, au liyasmuth..”
(Siapa yang beriman kpd Allah dan hari akhirat, hendaklah berkata yang baik, atau diam)
-from hadith 40 An-Nawawi

Seriously, I talk a lot.. I write a lot.. kena belajar cakap apa bernas/penting/baik sahaja.. because when I talk a lot, I tend to speak without thinking… and that means, many ‘unfiltered’ things.. I guess I tend to annoy people.. I even annoy myself..

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Rindu
walau selalu
walau sentiasa

Dalam proses menyibukkan diri.

Berada di KL since friday yang lepas. Then Ahad ptg bertolak ke Kedah. Then semalam, singgah Ipoh, ada weeding … Alhamdulillah hari ni dah settle down balik di JB.. but in 4 hours time I’ll be at area gunung pulai lak.. R2J2 outdoor camp… menjadian menfasian actually it’s a 5 days program.. but my mummy asks me to be back earlier.. tgk dulu keadaan macammana ye mummy.. huhu.. i wish i have my own car and can (bravely) drive there so that senang nak berurusan.. ble tumpang2 orang ni, rase diri ni jd masalah je.. huhu.

Semoga setiap amalan tulus dlm keikhlasan…

2007: 131 Palestinians who did not participate in hostilities killed by Israel

It’s new year, eh. I don’t feel any excitement. I post the above link so that all of us can refocus and aware of our priorities.

Alhamdulillah, Allah has given us the opportunity and luxury (to some of us) to keep on striving.

It’s really up to us to make changes and differences, or none at all.

Because in the end, we’ll be accountable for all the things that we did, or did not do..

and in the end, it’s only between ourselves and Allah…

Alhamdulillah, Allah has given me the realization… the signs..

2007 was a year full of, everything….