mkderwish…

Now I think it’s quite fixed, la, our graduation night date.
It’ll be on the 17th Nov 2006, yups, on a friday night.
And it will be held at Dewan Persidangan Utama, Kompleks Perbadanan Putrajaya (or something nears that name la.. I cannot really remember).

But of course, this is not 100% certain yet. Hopefully everything will be decided before hari raya holiday.

Hmm, nothing really interesting is happening or about to happen or has happened in the last few days.. just that I’m going back this weekend! Yay! I’m so missing home… huhu. (But, our housemaid is going back to her hometown starting tomorrow.. huhu, so I have to jadi bibik temporarily kot.. haha… wrong timing betul la…)

Oh, today we had our community project presentation. My group was the first to present. Hmm… everything was okay. Hehe.. our coordinator was so happy and overwhelmed with our efforts (all 4 groups plus the school project thing) that she cried… huhu… we were stunned.. well, at least I was stunned. Okay, one A guarenteed… hehehe…

I was a bit down last few days. Well, I really really think that I need to buck up but there surely isnt enough time. You see, we received our math mid-term result and for me, it didnt turn out so good. An ‘A’ seems quite hard to acquire for now, I guess. Final exam is just a week away! plus I think I know nothing about statistics……… Okay, one unsecured subject… maybe A-, or B+ or worse…… Nauzubillah min zalik. Oh Allah, please help me… but.. of course, I know I dont deserve good marks with my efforts right now…

Aaaa… banyaknye keje… chayo!!!

Oh, so many works yet I feel like there are too much of leisure time. (only me, though.. too much of leisure time.. people will scream at me if they know I said this…)

Statistics Project (havent started! yet although the due date is like a week away!), English for Science & Tech research paper, community project presentation (5th Oct), program book stuffs. Ah.. not enough time actually! how can I say there are too much of leisure time!… plus I have to tutor 2 juniors for 16 hours before their final exam (we are being paid….and right now I have only done 5 hours) for physics and calculus. waa.. tak cukup mase.. tak cukup mase!

And I still want to go back this weekend (7th till 10th Oct! yessss! 4 days of break.. sorry man, I couldnt help myself.. maybe I can bring some works home.. but doing them is very very unlikely! so, why bother??)

After that break we only have like less than 2 weeks before hari raya holiday.. (haha…I love my home). And after a week of hari raya hols, we only have 3 weeks left here!!! I just cannot believe this.. how time flies.. haha. there goes the cliche sentence…

Kitaran hari bulan ramadhan ni rase mcm amat pendek.. maybe bcoz after terawikh I always decided to just go to sleep..

Bangun 4 am -> Go to Ilsas for sahur -> balik apartment around 4.45 am -> buat la ape2 yg patut but tak tdo until subuh -> selalunye tertdo gak atas sejadah right after subuh prayer -> kol 8 siap2 nak gi kelas -> Kelas until 4.30 pm -> balik apartment , asar n cek emel n buat la ape2 yg patut lagi -> 7 pm gi Ilsas for berbuka -> balik apartment around 7.30, mandi, solat, ngaji -> 8.15 trus ke masjid for isya’ n terawikh -> balik around 9.40 -> computer jap yer… -> around 10.30 tdo! ..

Bile saye buat tutorial ye?? hehe.. on weekends and selit-selit kat jadual mase kelas….
Bile buat keje sekolah pulak? selit2 gak mase lepas terawikh n lepas sahur… huhu…
Bile basuh baju? haha… on weekends…

Huhu.. cukup-cukupla mengarut ye..

Nak balik!!! huhu.. rindu sama semua..

Oh, my little (hahahah) brother tengah PMR skrg ni.. Ahmad… doakan ler die berjaye…

My final exam is on the 13th, 16th, 17th and 18th Oct..
Papers yang i think i need to work extra hard to do them are Maths and Comparative Religion (kene banyak bace… huhu.. ni yg susah…).
Hopefully Physics senang la sket, pls Mr Joe!!

Oh, and my birthday is on the 19th October, ye… pls be informed… haha..

Hmm.. hopefully I can get 4 flat la for this final.. haha.. Ya Allah, punye la berangan.. hehe.. yela, tak pnah merase nak 4 flat… and nothing’s impossible rite..
Kalau dpt 4 flat, my cgpa will be 3.92… huhu.. mcm mantap je bunyinye…

Tapi, mai… jangan berangan nak 4 flat with this kind of attitude you have right now.. buat keje semua last-minute,, and bukan nak study bebetul!

Okay, mai.. kene work hard for the best, yer… semoga berjaya… ambil berkat bulan ramadhan ni.. rajin sikit!! eh, tak.. rajin banyak!!! ..

Okay okay.. dah kol 10.40 pm.. kene tido.. wassalam..

Alhamdulillah. At least my worry has lessen. Syida, I just got a conditional offer from Monash Uni! heheh…
So, now, let us wait for the other 4 universities…. oh, but at least I have a safety net.
The conditions we have to fulfill, complete the PPOU and get 3.3 and above for CGPA. Huhu.. I have to buck up la… macam amat pemalas di semester ini.

This morning we had a Comparative Religion test. Open-book test, mind you. Oh, also open laptop, notes etc2 that can be opened la.. (haha…). I didn’t study for this because of the fact that it was an open-book one.. thank God the questions werent that hard. The answers can be obtained from our books and notes. So yeah, most of us brought our laptop. The class looked like a bilik gerakan or something. Haha..

Tomorrow we will have math test pulak… huhu.. havent studied yet. Have to study after terawikh tonite.. or maybe tomorrow morning after sahur. Hopefully I have the motivation.

Hmm.. final exam is less than 3 weeks away… first paper is on the 13th Oct (Maths+Statistics). Then 16th (EST), 17th (Physics) and 18th (CR). Oh, I cant imagine those are the last exams I have to faced in PPOU history. Haha.. so relieved. But I’m not prepared!

Anyway, I’m in charge of making the program book again, for the graduation night. The chairman said, “we want a program book better and prettier than the YTN’s! “… haha… InsyaAllah, guys… after all I’m the one who made the YTN’s. So, I know where to improve. And I have good and cooperating people working with me… InsyaAllah everything will go smoothly.

Okay.. I better run now.. nak gi ILSAS for berbuka… Selamat Berbuka Puasa!!

Suddenly the feeling comes.
Dread.

Baru it dawned to me….

This break is coming to its end. Waaaa…. patutlah rase tak best semacam.

Tomorrow, Saturday… and then Sunday… and then the D-day. Dreadful day.

I don’t want to go back to university.

And then, my laptop couldnt be fixed before this break end. So I decided to take it back first. Send it back to the service centre when this course ends, which is in 3 months time. Oh, I don’t have a choice. There are lots of things to be done. Projects, assignments, programme book for graduation night. All these need laptop. But I have to bear with the problem. It always shuts itself down whenever I use it for too long, or too many programs run at the same time. I guess it’s the problem with the cooling fan. Huhu, sedihnye. Me, a computer enthusiast, nanti terpakse berkire-kire, duduk depan laptop boleh kejap-kejap je. Sedihnye! (baru plan nak download banyak-banyak series korea/japan… punah harapanku)

I don’t want to go back to that stressful place. Oh, 3 months left.

My graduation night is on the 25th Nov. Oh, couldn’t wait.

Hopefully, when I come back to uni this monday, I’ll get good news. Any good news! So that I can have some sort of catalyst, to start a new week with enthusiasm! Usually, bad news always greeted us…. I hate that.

Hanaa’ is not so well. She got asthma. Poor baby. She has to consume some ubat (syup) which she despises. She refuses to swallow them, resulted kene marah ngan my mum. Then, ape lagi… nangis la.. (haha.. macam ler die besa sgt.. she just turned 5 months 30/8 hari tu).

Oh, just feel like posting something.

Oh this song sounds so sad. A Millionaire’s First Love OST.

Malay languange mode today…

Dah berhari-hari aku cuba nak tulis entry, tapi tidak berjaya. Heh. Tak best la guna komputer lain. Petang tadi laptop ku sudah selamat dihantar ke kedai komputer untuk diperbaiki. Huhu. Yes! Laptop ku rosak…. sedihnye.
So, semalam seharian keje back-up files, burn dvd… ingatkan sambil-sambil tuh boleh la update blog, tapi tak kesampaian. Macam-macam hal… huhu.. ape hal nye pun tak tau la… I think semalam rileks semacam je.

Anyway, I’m home. Best sangat rase dah kat umah ni. Tapi seriously, bila kat umah jadi teramat malas. Let’s see buat ape sepanjang 3 hari dah kat umah ni… hmm.. rileks, tido, main ngan hanaa, tuka pampers hanaa, dukong hanaa nangis, makan, tengok tv, main ngan hanaa, surf tenet sekali-sekali… online YM, tapi bile cuti ni semua orang offline. Apesal? kat umah ngak ade internet ka kawan2? ke sibuk sgt enjoy cuti… huhu.

Actually, banyak kerja yang patut disiapkan.. tetapi (kwang kwang kwang..) aku lagi ngak ada laptop sih… ngak best la buat kerja guna komputer lain. Tak best! Tapi… naik cuti ni banyak je assignment due. So nak tak nak, I’ll try la to start doing my works. Huhu.. hopefully!

Macam-macam hal berlaku kat umah ni..

Last Saturday my cousin got married. He’s 22. Our house became the ‘host’ for the groom before berangkat ke umah pengantin pempuan. So, my house agak serabut dan bersepah la last weekend. My house kecik sangat but despite that, selalu je family gathering kat sini. I feel so serabut sometimes.. but org lain macam tak kesah je… Kenape tak kesah? kecik la umah ni…. kalau ade yang sleep over lagi lah payah.. toilet ngak cukup pepagi bute! kalau just my immediate family pon selalu je rebut2 toilet, apatah lagi ramai2…

Huhu.. nak ulang what my mum always said to my dad “kate je architect.. buat umah orang lain banyak.. tapi umah sendiri tak buat-buat..” huhu… sabojela.. belum ada rezeki…

So, petang tadi before hantar my laptop to the kedai, singgah sebentar kat site convention centre tuh. The infront seriously looked like it was made out of cardboard. I pointed that out to my dad.. Why?? why like that aa abah? huhu.. he said, biasela.. orang suruh buat lain, ade org lain memandai tukar.. macam2 manusia nih, ikut suka sendri.. yang kene my dad jugak.. sabo je la.. tapikan, serious obvious macam cardboard! huhu… tak lawo.. bahagian belakang lagi lawa..

Hehehe… seronoknye duduk rumah! I feel so rileks. Lupakan segala ketensenan di uni… seminggu je… takpe, yg penting I have the break I wanted.. I had a nice long sleep, dah.. Esok, nak ajak mama gi Tebrau City.. shopping la pulak, kan.. dah rileks brape hari, kene panaskan kaki pulak. Hehe..

Hmm… those who wanted to know.. my AP result, not that impressive. I was really down that day because before I got the real result, the coordinator told me a ‘wrong’ result. Really deceiving… dahla infront of many.. agak malu la… she said I got 5 for both Physics..ade ke… lepas dapat result betul2, kenela perbetulkan that fact kat semua.. huhu..

Anyway, my grades are:

Physics C: Mechanics - 4
Physics C: Elec&Magnetism - 4
Calculus BC - 3
Calculus AB - 5

What the grade means according to the slip..
5- extremely well qualified
4- well qualified
3- qualified
2- probably qualified
1- no recommendation

Enough about AP. Now, marilah kite bersama-sama berdoa semoga I get a place at (at ke in?) Uni of Melb!

Oh, agak happy hari ni, coz Hanaa comel.. and abah belikan external dvd writer. Thank you so much!

Thank You Allah for today.. Thank You Allah for everything.

(Huhu, aku rileks sangat sampai rase guilty…… mane bleh rilek-rilek cik adik oi.. keje berlambak-lambak.. masalah masyarakat banyak utk difikirkan penyelesaian…… waaaaaaa)

So, today we submitted the application forms. I applied to 5 australian universities;

Haha, seriously… I decided on UNSW n UQ spontaneously. I was never thinking of applying to UQ because of a stupid reason; the climate. But then, just now in class, after considering my results and all… I completed the form, and submitted it. I just didn’t want to think anymore. So, I didn’t submit Uni of Sydney and Adelaide forms…. regret??? hmm.. not really.

Right now I am so worried, because I haven’t received my AP result yet. If I didn’t get the result, I have no chance of going to Uni of Melb. (yes, the representative said so). I want my result! I don’t care anymore how much I get, I just want the transcript, photostate it and mail it to IDP. So that at least I have some hope.. on Uni of Melb. Oh, I will be very dissapointed… very-very-very dissapointed…. yela, after all the troubles that I went through when I sat for the AP.

Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segalanya…
——————————————————

Anyway, the car wash last week went very-very well! We washed 9 cars and 2 motorcycles on Saturday.. and 4 cars, 5 vans (!!!), and 2 motorcycles on Sunday!. What an great improvement! But of course, we were sooooo tired!. Actually I didn’t come on Sunday. They said washing vans were most tiring. Poor them. I felt bad about leaving them doing the car wash without me.. hehe.. It’s ok! This week I’ll work superhard! InsyaAllah. Give me strength…

(i need more strength.. huhu.. to do the laundry yg byk.. haha. malasnye)

Nak balik umah… and tidur dengan lena….and makan sedap-sedap… and rilek-rilek… huhu.. tapi mane bleh hidup rilek.. dah tade mase untuk rehat….. ganbatte kudasai!

Today was quite dissapointing. Customers who have pledged still didn’t turn up. Takpe2.

Today we only wash a car and 3 motorcycle… hopefully, next week will be much-much better because next saturday is a working saturday n got Karnival sukan…

Penat jugak car wash ni.. dah la girls je yang ramai……… huhu.. agak lawak.
Tapi tadi sikit je cars. Kami basuh 5 kereta je.. Kereta Ija, Naib Causelor’s V6, Honda Stream, Proton Saga, n Iswara. Pelanggan yg pledged tak turned up pun. Bagus in a way la.. kami tak penat sangat.

Tak sangka pulak ade air jet tu. And alhamdulillah, pihak pengurusan harta bagi sekali vacuum cleaner and macam-macam lagi peralatan untuk car wash. Ingatkan mula-mula kami yang kene sediakan semua.

Seronok, menjetkan air ke kereta..

My job tadi ialah vacum carpet kereta.. test jet air honda stream.. hihi.

Tapi tadi slek nye takde advertisement.. ade pon satu je, itu pun just tulis car wash besar-besar. So for tomorrow we’ll put a lot of signage.

Tadi terlupe nak amek gambar mase tgh jet air.. insyaAllah esok kot. Hmm.. tadi undercharge Honda Stream tuh.. tape2.. esok kite bagi tau harge betul2..

Esok harapnye banyak lagi cars.. sebab esok banyak lagi tenaga kerja.. I can relax a bit.. haha.. maybe not. Tadi panasnye… my dad said kalau nak car wash, tak bagus panas2… hmm.. nak wat cane? ktorng tade kemah. Tape je kot.. ade je pokok2 melindungi. Hihi..

Ngantok… still got somethings to be done by morning.. We got car wash tomorrow!

In Physics class just now, Mr Joe caught me sleeping.. well, not really.. my eyes were only 3 quarter shut.. I was just planning to completely close my eyes when he shouted my name… Haha, what an embarassement. I was so sleepy in his class, seriously. If it is not because of his extraordinary (i really mean extraordinary, maybe extra terrestrial.. hape aku ngarut ni) jokes, I wud have given up his class long ago.. ngantuk.. ngantuk … ngantuk… I don’t know why. Although he is pretty interesting…. hmmm..

…………………………………..Deviate sebentar……………………………

I wonder if everyone went through the same thing…
I mean, growing up.. thinking…
The denials, the questions that we kept to ourselves…
The arguments within, the uneasiness… that can never be told, even to our closest friend…
The inability to describe some feelings… some abstract thoughts… no matter how hard you try…
The inferiority, the search of comforts in others…
The feeling of loneliness, eventhough you are surrounded by friends…
The denials… the arguments…
The multiple personalities thing…. hypocriteness…
The search for truth… The hunger and thirst of knowing the unknowns…

I wonder…

Am I the only one? surely not….

………………………end of deviation………………………………

oh, so ngantuk,,, i think i’m going to sleep in front of this laptop… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yesterday was our first Golf practical session. My first time of touching golf club.
Golf isn’t so bad afterall. You get some sort of satisfaction when you swing the club with all your ‘power’, and you watch how far the ball goes. And the joy of running on the field, kutip bola when we ran out of balls…. haha.. oh, what fun.
But, I felt embarrassed most of the time.. because I usually missed the ball… swing punyela gaya, but the ball was still there..

Sekarang tengah sakit perut sbb makan banyak sangat. Hihi. Tadi puase… n beli mknn berbuka di Alamanda. Tak sangka banyak sgt pulak. Tak abeskan, sayang. So sumbat je la dlm perut. Mmg la tak baik kenyang sangat, but aku tak sanggup buang makanan… kalau simpan utk sahur esok takut tak okay lagi… And now I’ve learnt a lesson la… jgn pakse diri, my stomach is not that healthy… serious sakit…. pedih2…

We’ll start our car wash this week… hope it goes well.. and hope many customers turn up.

I haven’t received my AP result yet… feeling really-really anxious now. What happens to my result?

My room is in a mess….. My mind is in a mess

4 months left…. (I started counting days again…… )